Your true nature

Life has an interesting way of revealing our true nature to ourselves through subtleties. Quiet, fleeting moments that are easy to miss when you’re not paying attention. The subtle inflection in your voice that comes out when you’re frustrated — if you take a moment to examine it, you might learn that it’s not frustration, but fear. The thought that comes flying at you when you see something good or bad. What’s the subtext of that thought? What is its purpose?

Rarely do we ever have the luxury of noticing our true selves, in a world that’s constantly hustling us along, squeezing our seconds, minutes, and hours for all they’re worth.

But, even when you’re absorbed in all the details of the outside world demanding your attention, your inner world is thrumming with life.

I imagine it like a rugged rainforest — wild and untamed, growing in every direction simply because that’s what it is designed to do. Expand, thicken, and diversify.

I try to explore this rainforest that is my inner world. Even when I’m not in the mood to. Even when its shadows are frightening and I feel unprepared for what I’ll find when I’m in there.

There are tall, ancient trees there. So old, like from my earliest memories of childhood. There are tiny buds and fresh leaves growing, that represent my new beliefs and conclusions about the world.

And it changes with the seasons. Sometimes, it’s an ugly mess of gnarled branches and tangled webs. Dams and blockages. Other times it’s very still and the sun warms every surface. One day it’s vivid, the next day it’s fuzzy and far away like it doesn’t belong to me at all.

It’s through these subtleties, these tiny, barely-noticeable shifts in mood, or story, that allow you to observe the changes that are always happening within you. They are windows into your inner world — a place that only you can see, a place that is always honest, always alive, and doing its best for you.

Getting to know this place in you can be painful and complicated.

I started by simply acknowledging that it was there. That I carry it with me wherever I go, and always will. That I am capable of changing it so that it someday becomes a place of refuge. A place that is familiar to me, comforting. A place where I can sit alone during a storm and feeling nothing but peaceful.